Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
