My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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