There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
