If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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