you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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