Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
