I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
