If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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