then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize