We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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