I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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