I'm so fucking centered right now
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
