I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
