she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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