i permit you to call me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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