Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
is wine microwaveable?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
