NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
