I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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