He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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