my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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