I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
