Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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