i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
