super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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