I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize