I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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