just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Randomize
