We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
