my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize