so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
