I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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