I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
