Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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