dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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