Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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