Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize