They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
