Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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