Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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