will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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