I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize