Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
