I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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