He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
