Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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