she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
