Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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