She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize