the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
