I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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