yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
