I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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