She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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