somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
