I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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