Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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