There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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