In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize